Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Epilogue: Three Months Later (We've Gone Full Circle)

Happy Birthday!

well hey there stranger.

today's the big day, isn't it?

it is. thanks for remembering.
I take it you got home safely?
It's been a while since you've been online.

Oh, yeah. Sorry. Been super, super busy.
Work stuff.

i know how that goes!



what happened that night?
or maybe I should ask what happened that week?

don't worry about it. what's done is done.

but what was done?

nothing. please don't worry about it.

don't worry about it?
you were the best part of that week

that wasn't hard to do

then what?

your dad had just died
you weren't here to see me. you were here for his funeral.
i was just a distraction

no, you weren't

if I was so special, why didn't you put up a fight?
you just walked off at the first obstacle
if you're so heartbroken, then why's it taken three months for you to contact me?

I thought "no" meant "no?"


How am I supposed to know the difference?

it seems to me that if you really want something, you're not going to let a two letter word get in the way.

Holy hell.
Can I forward this to all the convicted rapists in the world and let them know that not only do you forgive them but you understand and support their position?

Please do because that's exactly what I'm talking about.
Look. I'm fine with the way things are.

I just want to know what happened. One minute you were hot and heavy, the next you're giving me the cold shoulder. You have no idea how depressing it is to be the guy who relates to a Katy Perry song.

I needed to know.

Know what?

I needed to know how into me you were.
I needed to know that you were kissing me because it was the only thing you could do to express how you felt about me.
I needed to know that when you held me it was because you never wanted to let me go.
I needed to know that you would fight for me.
But I get it. I really do. When I lost my dad I needed to know there was a reason for all this. But I'd settle for feeling good again.
If that's what you needed, then I'm glad I was able to help.
Honestly, I really didn't expect more than that. I mean, you are your father's son and your brother's brother.
I needed to know if what we were doing was just for now or if we actually were building something.

It had been two days.

We didn't have time. You had to get back home. So I had to demand an answer.

Don't apologize.

I feel bad.

I'm the dumb one for not realizing it was a test.

Don't look at it that way.
Who knows what the future may bring?

Maybe my brother'll die and we'll get to make out again!

don't say that!
but maybe. ;)

If I ever get the chance again, I'll fight for you.

I'll see it when I believe it.


I'll *believe* it when I *see* it.

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